


Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money

by Darth_Nonie



Series: Ze Von I Love [4]
Category: The X-Files, Warren Zevon songs
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Fluff, M/M, Mash-up, Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-11-18
Updated: 1998-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Nonie/pseuds/Darth_Nonie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fluff set in the 4th season episodes "Tunguska/Terma," where Mulder and Krycek have ended up in a Russian gulag and a cranky mood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money

"That's the last time I ask **you** for help, Krycek. Fucking gulag!"

"And that's the last time I offer you any. This was your idea, Mulder."

"So how the hell do we get out of here? Make a big diplomatic fuss? Try to fight our way out? Pity we don't have anything worth bribing with."

"Yeah. I mean, they want our Levis, they can just take 'em. --Look, Mulder, I think I've got a plan. Just trust me."

"Suuure. Damn, I'm c-cold..."

"No shit."

"Krycek, you cocksucker--!"

"Well, yeah. And a pretty good one. I'm touched that you remember."

"Krycek!"

"If you don't call me Alex, I'm not gonna share body heat."

"Yeah. Like it'd be just a favor to me. Like you're not freezing your ass off too."

"And you'd hate to see it go to waste, wouldn't you, Mulder."

"Hey, tight little muscular ass like yours doesn't have much insulation."

"Mulder, I'm shocked! Admiring the body of a despised traitor?"

"Yup. Come on, let's generate some heat. I hear you can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together..."


End file.
